Truth

In years past I've had the privilege of watching my closest friends starting families and raising children. While Aaron and I didn't necessarily start late, we did start our family later than a lot of our friends. I've listened to my girlfriends tell me everything from terrifying birth stories to sleepless nights to an overwhelming and indescribable love. Everyone has heard someone say that you love your children 'more and more each day' or 'the grow too fast'. Although some of this sounded cliche to me before I've discovered several truths now that I am a mother.

Truth #1 You love your children more everyday.
Yes, it's true. Each day, each milestone your heart grows a little bit bigger. Just when you think your heart is full and couldn't possibly get any bigger, it does just that. I loved Grayson and Hallie before I met them, but as their personalities emerge and their smiles get bigger the love grows stronger than the day before. It's pretty amazing.

Truth #2 They grow up too fast.
This one never made sense to me before I was a parent and even during our (extended) newborn phase. I remember thinking, isn't each new phase more exciting than the last as they learn to talk, walk and grow into little people? Now as we approach the four month mark and my 3 pound babies are laughing, cuddling and are hitting double digits on the scale, I'm already starting to look for the brakes to slow this time down. Don't get me wrong, the newborn stage is so sweet, but I have to admit there were times during those long, sleepless nights I thought about fast forwarding (just a little). Now that I'm rested and thinking beyond sleep I catch myself thinking just how sad I will be when we don't have sweet and tiny babies anymore. Will the next step be just as awe inspiring as the ones ahead? Probably more so, but they still grow up too fast.

Truth  #3 It's the hardest, but most rewarding job in the world.
TRUE! Everyone has heard this and it sounds a little cliche, but this is TRUE! In the beginning, I didn't know if I could make it through another sleepless night. Breastfeeding in particular, was the hardest thing I've ever done. Give me a 13 hour crazy work day and I still won't be as emotionally and physically wiped out as being home on my couch feeding twins. I am sure the twin factor plays into this, but for those with one I'm sure it is just as hard on mommy. It's all relative! Thank goodness, that through the tears, fatigue and emotional breakdowns, you have a precious baby to hold, love and watch grow from all your tireless efforts. It's the greatest thing I've ever done and can't imagine a greater reward than your baby seeing you and smiling a huge, toothless goofy grin. Nothing.Better. It always helped me to remember, this is a PHASE, I will sleep again. The same applied to bed rest on the longest days.

Truth #4 It's no joke, you fall in love with your husband all over again.
Let me start off by saying, there are moments when I thought we would strangle each other trying to figure out our new normal.  There is no glamour bringing home baby and there are many frustrating days and nights, but seeing the man you love with your children is enough to make your heart explode. If you are one of the lucky women who feel they couldn't love their husband more than they do, just wait. It gets even better. I'll never tire walking into a room and seeing Aaron bent over Grayson or Hallie telling him he loves them or praying over them. These moments far outway the tough stuff. Aaron and I love and appreciate each other on a much deeper and greater level. Again, nothing better.

Truth #5 Me time is a must.
Let me repeat, me time is a must! Before giving birth I wondered what type of mom I would be. I thought it would be really hard to leave the babies in someone else's care. I thought our first date night would be months after bringing them home. Nope. The truth is, as much as I love my new life, I still love time alone and time alone with Aaron. Motherhood is a 24 hour job and having a few quiet moments alone can make a world of difference in my week. A nap, a bath, a trip to Target or a night out must be made time for.  In the first week home I ran a few errands leaving the babies with Mom or Karlos. Within a couple of weeks we went on our much needed first date night. After 10 weeks of bed rest and a 5 week NICU stay I was so ready for a night out with my man. We are so lucky to have our moms, who are nothing short of amazing making little breaks here and there possible.. I think being forced to come to terms with someone else caring for our babies, like we did in the NICU, helped me to realize I am not the only one capable of taking good  care of our sweet littles. The best part of it all is coming home refreshed to two precious babies I can't wait to get my hands on. It's a win for everyone, including the Grandparents who get one on one (or two) time. On another note, shout out to Big Daddy (Aaron's dad) who lights up like a Chritsmas tree when he is with his grandchildren.

I'm sure as we navigate our way through parenthood I will discover many more truths. In the meantime, we are soaking up this magical holiday season with Grayson and Hallie. I dreamt of this time and now that it's here I'm relishing each moment. I'm sure I'll write a big Chritsmas post so that I can record each special detail as these are moments I don't want to ever forget!

Four Years of Love

It's hard to believe Aaron and I are celebrating our 4th anniversary today. Last year on our anniversary we had our very first IUI procedure. I'll never forget the bible verse of the day. I read it that morning before going to our appointment.
John 16:24 'Until now you have asked for nothing in My name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.'
So very fitting and encouraging for the start of our fertility journey.
A year later we are spending our anniversary at home by the Christmas tree with our two miracle babies. Aaron made a fantastic dinner, we exchanged our traditional letters and watched the tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center. A perfect way to celebrate four years with all of my favorite things!
On another note, the babies have been giving us the sweetest smiles. Hallie smiles nearly every time she is held and Grayson gives us smiles about once a day or whenever he feels like it. I love seeing their personalities emerge.
Aunt Nancy and Auntie Sue come in from WA tomorrow. I can't wait to see them and they can't wait to meet their great niece and nephew. We are going to see Ice at the Gaylord and then to dinner just us girls while Aaron stays with the babes. Looking forward to a girls night with mom and the aunts!